A song of supplication for the return of intimacy with God.

Time for transformation/death.

This is a word I heard Jesus giving to someone precious to me, saying their present trouble was really God's means of providing the lavish gift He had previously promised them.

Me singing John 20. I love this passage of scripture.There is so much in this section of scripture. I love how uniquely each of Jesus’ disciples relates to this situation. It’s obvious to me, no one making up this account would have written it with this much detail, and with this much honesty. Each person in this account is a part of us. Our relationship with Jesus must go through a similar death and rebirth; the death of our preconceived notions about what it means to follow Jesus, and the resurrection of a pure faith in Him. I also noticed Jesus didn’t move to punish Thomas for his unbelief. He understood how subjective we all are, and that Thomas both Believed, and disbelieved, simultaneously. If he had no belief, whatsoever, he undoubtedly would have left the fellowship behind, and moved on with his life. Jesus just told him; if you need to see my hands, then here, look at them. Of course, Thomas didn’t need to. He only needed to hear Jesus’ voice. So much for, seeing is believing. Jesus appeared to Mary as well, and remained unrecognized until such time as he spoke to her. Also, the two disciples on the road to Emmaus only recognized Jesus after hearing his voice. Those of us who actually follow Jesus do so because we are hearing him speak to us. Of course for most of us, this is not an audible hearing, but rather a strong sense of Jesus presence in a thought. We can tell it’s Jesus because no other mentality is like Jesus’, in the whole universe. It is remarkably distinct. For those of us who merely know about Jesus, but do not follow, they don’t know what His voice is like. They are left with the cold tenets of their belief system. Jesus said; Joh 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: Joh 10:28 and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of my hand.

This is the song of every one who is sent out by Jesus into the world to preach the awesome news of Jesus, and God's kingdom.

Jesus is the ugly man. There is something very unattractive about Jesus, to those of us making our way in this wounded world. His trust in his father, God, instead of in the society he was a part of, instead of in political action, instead of in his own power to achieve; these traits in Jesus are ugly to us, because we do trust in these aspects of our own humanity. Jesus is still ugly, he just shows up in those people who follow him, now. Most Christians don't follow Jesus, they follow men in their own social group, and so, find themselves viewing those who do follow Jesus, as ugly, and will even come to despise and reject them, if they don't humble themselves and confess their unbelief to God.

When we come to the place of bringing our shame to God, instead of trying to dispense with it ourself, we finally come to the palce of total salvation, We finally get un-stuck.

I'm not sure what this song is about. I think it might be about me running into some inner fear, and the buried painful memory behind it, and wanting deliverance.

This is my favorite song, of the songs God has given me. I know I don't sing this song very well, but the song is so personal that I wanted my voice connected with it. I have only been able to record the song once. It is too emotionaly taxing for me to do again. Maybe I will some day.

This is a summary of a conversation I found myself having with God one day, in the midst of a long dying process.

This was a song for someone I love, who I saw moving away from the Gospel of Jesus toward self-righteous legalism.

This is a word I hear Jesus speaking to His body. Like the man who wanted to follow Jesus, but thought he should bury his father rather than follow the messiah of the entire human race, we often let things that may be good in themselves keep us from a experiencing a once in history happening with Jesus. Following Jesus is always a once in history happening, and should take precedence over our family ties, our social conventions, our public image, every thing. If it doesn’t, we need to know, we aren’t yet ready to follow Jesus. We don’t want him bad enough. If you do follow Jesus, you may be sure that He will see to it that you get to count this cost, and pay this price of following him.