Excerpts from The Rain In Spain
Preface
Long ago, when I was 18 years old, I began to travel the quiet road of dream analysis. I discovered, as have many people, that dreams are little packets of brilliant insight encoded in the language of symbolism. As I continued down this road I began to realize that the people in my dream represented parts of my own consciousness.
As I began to identify the various parts of my consciousness symbolized by the people who appeared in my dreams, I also began to realize something else; the aspect of my being that was responsible for creating my dream content seemed to operate on the principal that events and people and things interacting with me, either directly or indirectly, all had meaning for my life.
In other words, and as impossible as this might seem, everything going on in the universe around me was also an accurate symbolic representation of something going on inside of me. Nothing, no event, is exempt from this. Of course, in as much as this is true it indicates that some supremely objective factor is building the universe in the same way our human consciousness is being built, that is, as if everything is a component of a single conceptual framework, composed by a single mentality, from a single point of view, and for a particular purpose.
Here are some implications of this little idea, stated in 4 precepts.
1. There is a purely objective (non-physical) aspect of our human being, operating on our behalf, which sees the interconnectedness, and the meaning, and the purpose of everything. It utilizes pure Pattern Recognition Thinking, and operates from our persons’ true perspective on the universe.
2. And it sees the interconnectedness, because that is its job.
3. And just because there is a supremely objective (non-material) factor operating behind the scenes of everything, then every thing, every event, and every person in our waking lives has been sewn into the fabric of our lives by the purpose of this universal objective factor.
4. This, in turn, means that not only does everything happen for a reason, but everything happening outside of your consciousness, is a symbolic representation of what’s happening inside your consciousness as well.
5. Since everything is a part of one universal system, which has a single overarching ordering factor directing it, then the purpose and meaning of everything must be interwoven into single unfolding overarching reality.
As stated above, the existence of a unified universal system of order, implies, not only a single overarching ordering factor, but a single overarching ordering purpose for things. There is a common expression for this idea. It is expressed as everything happens for a reason. Let’s look at that, everything happens for a reason, notion a little bit closer.
Let’s say, you are confronted in your life, by a violent criminal. Given the concept laid out above (in precept 5), we would have to conclude that; A. This event is part of a universal plan, and B. there is a violently destructive mentality currently operating within your own consciousness that you need to become aware of.
I am certain most of you reading this will have some difficulty seeing the validity of this notion, about the highly ordered, symbolic value of all things. And none of us understands the full implications of this fact. If we did, we would be like Jesus (in terms of our trust in God to be our all, in all). We would turn the other cheek when struck. We would go two miles with the person who is demanding that we go one. We would give the person suing us for our shirt, our coat as well. There would be nothing we would ever be afraid of, and thus we would be generous to a fault.
It is so that we can come to understand the all-ness of God that this book has been written. This book will not, of course, get you to understand the all-ness of God; that is for God to accomplish. Yet, this book will give you some reason for acknowledging that the all-ness of God exists, and would be in your best interest to connect with.
Most of us humans, who would argue against the existence of a God-factor, would do so by stating that everything in existence has a physical origin to it, thus rendering the validity, and necessity of a God-factor non-existent. The same argument is put forward about our human being; that everything in our being can be accounted for by physical factors, thus rendering the need for a God-factor non-existent.
The thing is, the fact of system, of order, itself argues for an overarching factor that ties the material universe, and our physical body, up into a nice unfolding package. In as much as all physical processes are thought to unfold from other overarching physical processes there is a basis for assuming that at some point, and on some level, in the unfolding process of everything, something absolutely basic must have unfolded from something else.
In other words the existence of physical systems indicates the existence of an overarching non-physical system. Everything we know from our experience of the physical universe tells us there must be something else operating as an overarching ordering factor.
With these principals in mind it becomes sensible to assume that to the extent we can live in harmony with this overarching universal ordering factor, to that extent can we become realized, fulfilled, purposeful people, with meaningful lives. And that, conversely, our human problems and dysfunction are a result of a lack of harmony with the overarching ordering factor of the universe.
I realize this train of thought will be a bit much for some to digest, or having done so, to accept, but the thrust of this book launches from this premise, so I figured you should know that. In any event, the book is yours to critique. Enjoy!
Introduction
The now famous book by Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson (The Assault on Truth: Freud's Suppression of the Seduction TheoryFarrar Straus & Giroux. ISBN 0-374-10642-8)documents Freud’s suppression of his Seduction Theory.
Many people have been emotionally ravaged by Freud’s confused Oedipal notion (into believing that their emotional issues are not the fault of adults who preyed upon them as children, but are in fact their own fault, in as much as they must surely have suppressed the truth about a natural part of their humanity, namely their Oedipal desires for their parent.)
Not only do these people not get to see their emotional wounds healed, but they are, in fact, even further silenced in their voicing of the horrible emotional wounds that haunt their daily existence, by the proscribed treatment for erroneously diagnosed Oedipal complexes.
For a closer look at the formative emotional issues that helped to shape Freud’s ideas, look at the Appendix #1, The Past of a Delusion.
In my own experience as a counselor, I have observed over and over again just how powerful the emotional and social force is that is brought to bear in order to silence the voice of the victim of terrible abuse. The more terrible the abuse, the greater the reluctance on the part of the surrounding society to face and deal with its presence.
I have further observed just how this suppression of the victim’s voicing of their victimization has not only blocked the pursuit of their soul’s healing, but has continued to re-victimize them day after day, year after year.
And here’s the kicker; the silencing of the victim’s voice is not merely relegated to victims of sexual trauma. It has followed each and every one of us throughout the stumbling path of our lives. Not only is the voice in us that would cry out in pain silenced, but also the voice that would assert what we truly want to be and do, as well. You can’t suppress one without suppressing the other.
This means, even if you'd like to be self-centered and only focus on your own self-interests, you would still need to listen to the voices of those victimized around you if you wanted your own voice to become increasingly heard.
Most of what has come to be known as civilization is really a cultures’ forced silence of our true human voice. Civilization is not a good thing. It is not a force that turns our otherwise instinctively driven behavior into benevolent behavior, as some would have us believe. The self-governing force of the collective human conscience (the collective ego) is corrosive to our human existence, just as the tyranny of the individuals’ conscience is destructive to the individual person. The only alternative to this civilizing force is a vital, potent, faith in God.
Shortly after reading Masson’s book I began to contemplate writing a book that would encourage and aid ordinary people in their desire to spiritually and emotionally support those they love. I was galvanized by the thought that no amount of scholastic rote learning would ever enable a person to help another person if the motivation behind their attempts to help others were motives other than love. The practical weight of this reality is derived from the fact that motives other than love result in the suppression of the patient’s voice, and it is the full hearing of their voice that brings them healing.
I also understood, based upon my own experience as a counselor, that there is a huge missing piece to the training of therapists in the Freudian school. Freud was an atheist, and as such, he ruled out the influence of spiritual factors, both as it concerned the causes, and the cure, of the human soul. Freud’s atheism had, and continues to have today, an enormous negative impact upon therapists understanding of, and healing of, their fellow human beings emotional issues.
There are a couple of obvious reasons that an atheistic approach to counseling is counter-productive. The first is that an atheistic approach to the healing of a human soul is self-canceling, in as much as the absence of a God-factor in one’s concept of the origin and operation of the universe negates any and all standards of human health to which one may refer in their pursuit of the healing of humans. One cannot effectively say what is good human behavior, and what is damaged human behavior if there is no standard of human behavior, and there is no standard of human behavior if there is no designer of human behavior (God).
When one is an atheist, one must thus assume that all external spiritual factors are merely products of human consciousness, and therefore must be subjectively sorted through, subjectively evaluated, and subjectively embraced, or suppressed, by the therapist (There is no reasonable basis for thinking there is such a thing as objectivity, if there is no such thing as God.) If there is no God-factor, then everything merely comes down to an assertion of one’s point of view, not an assertion of truth/fact/reality/ sanity. Without a God-factor, the context of everything gradually disappears, and is replaced by the chaos of a standard-less reality.
Think for a moment, how does one know which mentalities should be promoted, and which mentalities should be opposed? Should the mentality of fear be supported, or opposed? Should we view a mentality of pride as a good thing, or a bad thing, and why? Should we view loyalty (which is an obligatory commitment to others) as being a better mentality than trustworthiness (which is a love-based commitment to others)?
The other problem with the atheistic approach to the healing of the human soul is this. There are spiritual factors (not originating in human consciousness, but acting upon it) that play a significant role in the condition of the human soul. If there are autonomous mentalities damaging or supporting the human condition, then ignoring these factors will only serve to undermine the therapies required by humans.
For example, I have experienced God personally interacting with me, and felt Him as an autonomous mentality of absolute love. This mentality of absolute love was not merely a theological position that I had to adopt, or intellectually accept, it was an experience with an external factor that I needed to understand. This external factor was, and is, a mentality that I have never experienced anywhere else but in my interaction with what I have supposed to be God. It is astoundingly singular.
Freud would, as he did in his response to an American physician (quoted in full in the first Appendix), define my experience with God as a delusion, formed from my unresolved childhood Oedipal issues. Carl Jung would likiely have said that I have encountered, not an actual external God/spiritual-factor, but an inner human collective-unconscious factor (the God archetype).
The thing is, in coming to be at peace with this mentality of absolute love, by way of trusting God’s Messiah gesture, Jesus (which I have found to be completely consistent with, and the only logical realization of, a mentality of absolute love), I have learned to trust the intuitional cues that this mentality of love gives me. And it has been the trusting and accommodation of those cues from God that has shaped and empowered the spiritual and emotional therapy that has served both my own emotional needs and the needs of others.
Experiencing peace (and consequently, harmony) with God enables, and empowers, one to utilize their intuition in a way that is quite significant, and amazingly effective in deploying the process of soul analysis.
It is noteworthy to mention that peace with God also serves to safeguard one from the traps of superstition, which move to suppress the free movement of the intellect.
I have seen people progress through stages of emotional healing in a matter of hours, where it would typically have taken a trained psychotherapist years to do the same thing. I and others have seen such progress because we have come to be comfortable responding to cues from God, via our intuition. I call this cued approach to understanding the problems, and solutions to problems, CONDUCTIVE REASONING.
I will be telling you about this Conductive Reasoning approach to learning things as we continue, but I wanted to let you have a sense about what this book is about before you invest too much more time reading.
There is one other thing I’d like to tell you in this introduction, and this has to do with why I titled the book, The Rain in Spain. After reading Jeffrey Masson’s book (and I had not yet mentioned to my wife, Linda, that I was contemplating writing another book), I was passionately relating my impressions of Masson’s book to my wife, when she stopped me in mid-sentence and asked me; when are you going to write your book on psychotherapy?
My jaw dropped, because I had been feeling so intimidated by the prospect of writing such a book that I hadn’t really wanted to tell anyone that I was thinking of doing that very thing. She completely surprised me with the directness of her question.
That night another thing happened that surprised me. My wife turned to me and said; I think I am supposed to help you with this book in some way. I am not sure how, but I just can’t shake the impression that I am supposed to help you with it.
Linda has always talked, pretty much everything, out with me, and this has been an enormous help in my intellectual and emotional development, but she had never before directly gotten involved in one of my literary endeavors, so I was quite surprised.
The next morning, on our way to the restaurant in which we often had our customary Saturday breakfast, she said; I have been having this song go through my mind all this morning, The Rain in Spainfalls mainly in the Plain. We both sensed a cue from God in Linda’s fixation with this song, so I began to question her about her thoughts on the song.
As we discussed the song, and its association with a loved one who has had a lifelong love affair with the songs from the musical, MY FAIR LADY (and also contemplated the main theme of the movie) I began to understand how my wife was going to help me with the book.
Both, our loved one, and the central character in the movie, represented all the people who have been selfishly helped by professionals, by experts. Eliza Doolittle’s helper, a professor of linguistics, was motivated by enormous pride in his prowess in the field of linguistics, and acted on this pride in his attempts to help her. He had almost no regard for her at all, when he began to help her. Even months later, as he did begin to feel some regard for her, he suppressed his affection so that he might better pursue his prideful goal of making a name for himself in his chosen field of study.
This movie theme crystallized in me a concept I deeply wanted to share with people who might wish to help others heal emotionally. That is, that (as the Apostle Paul pointed out) without the motivation of love, our efforts to help others are a total waste of time. The other side of the same coin is that with Love, a person becomes practically equipped, and fully empowered to help anyone deal with anything.
God IS love (He doesn’t merely have love), and thus, when accommodating a mentality of God’s love, one is accommodating God (and has God’s resources to draw on). Responding to Love (God’s kind of love), one becomes open to all of the creative, brilliant, insight-laden cues that God (who is absolutely objective about every situation, and need) would give them.
Most of you reading this will have at least a little concern that I am sentimentalizing things in proposing the importance of love in the deployment of therapy. I really am not. It is fundamental to your usefulness, and effectiveness as a therapist (a helper of souls).
Again, let me say, love is not merely a nice sentiment to have as you offer service to others. Love is a prerequisite, without which you will not be able to provide effective therapy.
We all are Eliza Doolittle’s. We all have had imperfect parents (and other authority figures) who were less than perfectly responsible, or were less than perfectly loving, to us, and thus we all have suffered emotional damage. This damage has obscured our true identity, and silenced our true voice.
Likewise, all of us have known the selfish and subjectively derived help of others, who wished to solve our problems out of their own selfish motives (as Professor Higgins did to Eliza). Even our own conscience has attempted to fix our flaws from the myriad of selfish fear-driven motives of our own heart, and ended up only imprisoning us (like Eliza) in the sterile, loveless, impersonal solutions of pride, or reactionary fear.
Think for a moment, about how many of your own flaws you have attempted to solve, not primarily because you wanted to become whole, but because if you appeared as what the people around you wanted you to be, they would like you more. Reactionary motives such as this only serve to suppress and weaken our true human being. They do not strengthen it.
Eliza was far worse off after the professor helped her. The movie obscures this fact, perhaps because those who wrote the story (or those who produced the movie) may have been too much in sympathy with the professor, and his pride.
Whatever the case may be, the fact remains; the professor was projecting his own un-faced misuse of the English language onto Eliza. He viewed Eliza’s use of the English language as a hideous thing. His own prideful, and utterly selfish use of the English language was far more ugly than anything Eliza ever uttered in her unschooled dialect, and because he could not face up to this truth, he was emotionally driven to change Eliza (and in a way that cost Eliza her hearts’ truest desires).
So, this book is for the Eliza in each of us. It is an attempt to reverse the effects of lifetimes of abuse by our own, and other people’s arrogance in thinking they/we know what’s best for us, when actually only our maker and designer knows that.
I hope to explain some things to you (about our human psychological makeup), so that you can come to believe that God/love is capable of restoring what you and I, on our own, are not capable of restoring.
In giving you some of these ideas, I also hope to encourage you to become good at employing Conductive Reasoning, in the context of your own interpersonal relationship with God.
Long ago, when I was 18 years old, I began to travel the quiet road of dream analysis. I discovered, as have many people, that dreams are little packets of brilliant insight encoded in the language of symbolism. As I continued down this road I began to realize that the people in my dream represented parts of my own consciousness.
As I began to identify the various parts of my consciousness symbolized by the people who appeared in my dreams, I also began to realize something else; the aspect of my being that was responsible for creating my dream content seemed to operate on the principal that events and people and things interacting with me, either directly or indirectly, all had meaning for my life.
In other words, and as impossible as this might seem, everything going on in the universe around me was also an accurate symbolic representation of something going on inside of me. Nothing, no event, is exempt from this. Of course, in as much as this is true it indicates that some supremely objective factor is building the universe in the same way our human consciousness is being built, that is, as if everything is a component of a single conceptual framework, composed by a single mentality, from a single point of view, and for a particular purpose.
Here are some implications of this little idea, stated in 4 precepts.
1. There is a purely objective (non-physical) aspect of our human being, operating on our behalf, which sees the interconnectedness, and the meaning, and the purpose of everything. It utilizes pure Pattern Recognition Thinking, and operates from our persons’ true perspective on the universe.
2. And it sees the interconnectedness, because that is its job.
3. And just because there is a supremely objective (non-material) factor operating behind the scenes of everything, then every thing, every event, and every person in our waking lives has been sewn into the fabric of our lives by the purpose of this universal objective factor.
4. This, in turn, means that not only does everything happen for a reason, but everything happening outside of your consciousness, is a symbolic representation of what’s happening inside your consciousness as well.
5. Since everything is a part of one universal system, which has a single overarching ordering factor directing it, then the purpose and meaning of everything must be interwoven into single unfolding overarching reality.
As stated above, the existence of a unified universal system of order, implies, not only a single overarching ordering factor, but a single overarching ordering purpose for things. There is a common expression for this idea. It is expressed as everything happens for a reason. Let’s look at that, everything happens for a reason, notion a little bit closer.
Let’s say, you are confronted in your life, by a violent criminal. Given the concept laid out above (in precept 5), we would have to conclude that; A. This event is part of a universal plan, and B. there is a violently destructive mentality currently operating within your own consciousness that you need to become aware of.
I am certain most of you reading this will have some difficulty seeing the validity of this notion, about the highly ordered, symbolic value of all things. And none of us understands the full implications of this fact. If we did, we would be like Jesus (in terms of our trust in God to be our all, in all). We would turn the other cheek when struck. We would go two miles with the person who is demanding that we go one. We would give the person suing us for our shirt, our coat as well. There would be nothing we would ever be afraid of, and thus we would be generous to a fault.
It is so that we can come to understand the all-ness of God that this book has been written. This book will not, of course, get you to understand the all-ness of God; that is for God to accomplish. Yet, this book will give you some reason for acknowledging that the all-ness of God exists, and would be in your best interest to connect with.
Most of us humans, who would argue against the existence of a God-factor, would do so by stating that everything in existence has a physical origin to it, thus rendering the validity, and necessity of a God-factor non-existent. The same argument is put forward about our human being; that everything in our being can be accounted for by physical factors, thus rendering the need for a God-factor non-existent.
The thing is, the fact of system, of order, itself argues for an overarching factor that ties the material universe, and our physical body, up into a nice unfolding package. In as much as all physical processes are thought to unfold from other overarching physical processes there is a basis for assuming that at some point, and on some level, in the unfolding process of everything, something absolutely basic must have unfolded from something else.
In other words the existence of physical systems indicates the existence of an overarching non-physical system. Everything we know from our experience of the physical universe tells us there must be something else operating as an overarching ordering factor.
With these principals in mind it becomes sensible to assume that to the extent we can live in harmony with this overarching universal ordering factor, to that extent can we become realized, fulfilled, purposeful people, with meaningful lives. And that, conversely, our human problems and dysfunction are a result of a lack of harmony with the overarching ordering factor of the universe.
I realize this train of thought will be a bit much for some to digest, or having done so, to accept, but the thrust of this book launches from this premise, so I figured you should know that. In any event, the book is yours to critique. Enjoy!
Introduction
The now famous book by Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson (The Assault on Truth: Freud's Suppression of the Seduction TheoryFarrar Straus & Giroux. ISBN 0-374-10642-8)documents Freud’s suppression of his Seduction Theory.
Many people have been emotionally ravaged by Freud’s confused Oedipal notion (into believing that their emotional issues are not the fault of adults who preyed upon them as children, but are in fact their own fault, in as much as they must surely have suppressed the truth about a natural part of their humanity, namely their Oedipal desires for their parent.)
Not only do these people not get to see their emotional wounds healed, but they are, in fact, even further silenced in their voicing of the horrible emotional wounds that haunt their daily existence, by the proscribed treatment for erroneously diagnosed Oedipal complexes.
For a closer look at the formative emotional issues that helped to shape Freud’s ideas, look at the Appendix #1, The Past of a Delusion.
In my own experience as a counselor, I have observed over and over again just how powerful the emotional and social force is that is brought to bear in order to silence the voice of the victim of terrible abuse. The more terrible the abuse, the greater the reluctance on the part of the surrounding society to face and deal with its presence.
I have further observed just how this suppression of the victim’s voicing of their victimization has not only blocked the pursuit of their soul’s healing, but has continued to re-victimize them day after day, year after year.
And here’s the kicker; the silencing of the victim’s voice is not merely relegated to victims of sexual trauma. It has followed each and every one of us throughout the stumbling path of our lives. Not only is the voice in us that would cry out in pain silenced, but also the voice that would assert what we truly want to be and do, as well. You can’t suppress one without suppressing the other.
This means, even if you'd like to be self-centered and only focus on your own self-interests, you would still need to listen to the voices of those victimized around you if you wanted your own voice to become increasingly heard.
Most of what has come to be known as civilization is really a cultures’ forced silence of our true human voice. Civilization is not a good thing. It is not a force that turns our otherwise instinctively driven behavior into benevolent behavior, as some would have us believe. The self-governing force of the collective human conscience (the collective ego) is corrosive to our human existence, just as the tyranny of the individuals’ conscience is destructive to the individual person. The only alternative to this civilizing force is a vital, potent, faith in God.
Shortly after reading Masson’s book I began to contemplate writing a book that would encourage and aid ordinary people in their desire to spiritually and emotionally support those they love. I was galvanized by the thought that no amount of scholastic rote learning would ever enable a person to help another person if the motivation behind their attempts to help others were motives other than love. The practical weight of this reality is derived from the fact that motives other than love result in the suppression of the patient’s voice, and it is the full hearing of their voice that brings them healing.
I also understood, based upon my own experience as a counselor, that there is a huge missing piece to the training of therapists in the Freudian school. Freud was an atheist, and as such, he ruled out the influence of spiritual factors, both as it concerned the causes, and the cure, of the human soul. Freud’s atheism had, and continues to have today, an enormous negative impact upon therapists understanding of, and healing of, their fellow human beings emotional issues.
There are a couple of obvious reasons that an atheistic approach to counseling is counter-productive. The first is that an atheistic approach to the healing of a human soul is self-canceling, in as much as the absence of a God-factor in one’s concept of the origin and operation of the universe negates any and all standards of human health to which one may refer in their pursuit of the healing of humans. One cannot effectively say what is good human behavior, and what is damaged human behavior if there is no standard of human behavior, and there is no standard of human behavior if there is no designer of human behavior (God).
When one is an atheist, one must thus assume that all external spiritual factors are merely products of human consciousness, and therefore must be subjectively sorted through, subjectively evaluated, and subjectively embraced, or suppressed, by the therapist (There is no reasonable basis for thinking there is such a thing as objectivity, if there is no such thing as God.) If there is no God-factor, then everything merely comes down to an assertion of one’s point of view, not an assertion of truth/fact/reality/ sanity. Without a God-factor, the context of everything gradually disappears, and is replaced by the chaos of a standard-less reality.
Think for a moment, how does one know which mentalities should be promoted, and which mentalities should be opposed? Should the mentality of fear be supported, or opposed? Should we view a mentality of pride as a good thing, or a bad thing, and why? Should we view loyalty (which is an obligatory commitment to others) as being a better mentality than trustworthiness (which is a love-based commitment to others)?
The other problem with the atheistic approach to the healing of the human soul is this. There are spiritual factors (not originating in human consciousness, but acting upon it) that play a significant role in the condition of the human soul. If there are autonomous mentalities damaging or supporting the human condition, then ignoring these factors will only serve to undermine the therapies required by humans.
For example, I have experienced God personally interacting with me, and felt Him as an autonomous mentality of absolute love. This mentality of absolute love was not merely a theological position that I had to adopt, or intellectually accept, it was an experience with an external factor that I needed to understand. This external factor was, and is, a mentality that I have never experienced anywhere else but in my interaction with what I have supposed to be God. It is astoundingly singular.
Freud would, as he did in his response to an American physician (quoted in full in the first Appendix), define my experience with God as a delusion, formed from my unresolved childhood Oedipal issues. Carl Jung would likiely have said that I have encountered, not an actual external God/spiritual-factor, but an inner human collective-unconscious factor (the God archetype).
The thing is, in coming to be at peace with this mentality of absolute love, by way of trusting God’s Messiah gesture, Jesus (which I have found to be completely consistent with, and the only logical realization of, a mentality of absolute love), I have learned to trust the intuitional cues that this mentality of love gives me. And it has been the trusting and accommodation of those cues from God that has shaped and empowered the spiritual and emotional therapy that has served both my own emotional needs and the needs of others.
Experiencing peace (and consequently, harmony) with God enables, and empowers, one to utilize their intuition in a way that is quite significant, and amazingly effective in deploying the process of soul analysis.
It is noteworthy to mention that peace with God also serves to safeguard one from the traps of superstition, which move to suppress the free movement of the intellect.
I have seen people progress through stages of emotional healing in a matter of hours, where it would typically have taken a trained psychotherapist years to do the same thing. I and others have seen such progress because we have come to be comfortable responding to cues from God, via our intuition. I call this cued approach to understanding the problems, and solutions to problems, CONDUCTIVE REASONING.
I will be telling you about this Conductive Reasoning approach to learning things as we continue, but I wanted to let you have a sense about what this book is about before you invest too much more time reading.
There is one other thing I’d like to tell you in this introduction, and this has to do with why I titled the book, The Rain in Spain. After reading Jeffrey Masson’s book (and I had not yet mentioned to my wife, Linda, that I was contemplating writing another book), I was passionately relating my impressions of Masson’s book to my wife, when she stopped me in mid-sentence and asked me; when are you going to write your book on psychotherapy?
My jaw dropped, because I had been feeling so intimidated by the prospect of writing such a book that I hadn’t really wanted to tell anyone that I was thinking of doing that very thing. She completely surprised me with the directness of her question.
That night another thing happened that surprised me. My wife turned to me and said; I think I am supposed to help you with this book in some way. I am not sure how, but I just can’t shake the impression that I am supposed to help you with it.
Linda has always talked, pretty much everything, out with me, and this has been an enormous help in my intellectual and emotional development, but she had never before directly gotten involved in one of my literary endeavors, so I was quite surprised.
The next morning, on our way to the restaurant in which we often had our customary Saturday breakfast, she said; I have been having this song go through my mind all this morning, The Rain in Spainfalls mainly in the Plain. We both sensed a cue from God in Linda’s fixation with this song, so I began to question her about her thoughts on the song.
As we discussed the song, and its association with a loved one who has had a lifelong love affair with the songs from the musical, MY FAIR LADY (and also contemplated the main theme of the movie) I began to understand how my wife was going to help me with the book.
Both, our loved one, and the central character in the movie, represented all the people who have been selfishly helped by professionals, by experts. Eliza Doolittle’s helper, a professor of linguistics, was motivated by enormous pride in his prowess in the field of linguistics, and acted on this pride in his attempts to help her. He had almost no regard for her at all, when he began to help her. Even months later, as he did begin to feel some regard for her, he suppressed his affection so that he might better pursue his prideful goal of making a name for himself in his chosen field of study.
This movie theme crystallized in me a concept I deeply wanted to share with people who might wish to help others heal emotionally. That is, that (as the Apostle Paul pointed out) without the motivation of love, our efforts to help others are a total waste of time. The other side of the same coin is that with Love, a person becomes practically equipped, and fully empowered to help anyone deal with anything.
God IS love (He doesn’t merely have love), and thus, when accommodating a mentality of God’s love, one is accommodating God (and has God’s resources to draw on). Responding to Love (God’s kind of love), one becomes open to all of the creative, brilliant, insight-laden cues that God (who is absolutely objective about every situation, and need) would give them.
Most of you reading this will have at least a little concern that I am sentimentalizing things in proposing the importance of love in the deployment of therapy. I really am not. It is fundamental to your usefulness, and effectiveness as a therapist (a helper of souls).
Again, let me say, love is not merely a nice sentiment to have as you offer service to others. Love is a prerequisite, without which you will not be able to provide effective therapy.
We all are Eliza Doolittle’s. We all have had imperfect parents (and other authority figures) who were less than perfectly responsible, or were less than perfectly loving, to us, and thus we all have suffered emotional damage. This damage has obscured our true identity, and silenced our true voice.
Likewise, all of us have known the selfish and subjectively derived help of others, who wished to solve our problems out of their own selfish motives (as Professor Higgins did to Eliza). Even our own conscience has attempted to fix our flaws from the myriad of selfish fear-driven motives of our own heart, and ended up only imprisoning us (like Eliza) in the sterile, loveless, impersonal solutions of pride, or reactionary fear.
Think for a moment, about how many of your own flaws you have attempted to solve, not primarily because you wanted to become whole, but because if you appeared as what the people around you wanted you to be, they would like you more. Reactionary motives such as this only serve to suppress and weaken our true human being. They do not strengthen it.
Eliza was far worse off after the professor helped her. The movie obscures this fact, perhaps because those who wrote the story (or those who produced the movie) may have been too much in sympathy with the professor, and his pride.
Whatever the case may be, the fact remains; the professor was projecting his own un-faced misuse of the English language onto Eliza. He viewed Eliza’s use of the English language as a hideous thing. His own prideful, and utterly selfish use of the English language was far more ugly than anything Eliza ever uttered in her unschooled dialect, and because he could not face up to this truth, he was emotionally driven to change Eliza (and in a way that cost Eliza her hearts’ truest desires).
So, this book is for the Eliza in each of us. It is an attempt to reverse the effects of lifetimes of abuse by our own, and other people’s arrogance in thinking they/we know what’s best for us, when actually only our maker and designer knows that.
I hope to explain some things to you (about our human psychological makeup), so that you can come to believe that God/love is capable of restoring what you and I, on our own, are not capable of restoring.
In giving you some of these ideas, I also hope to encourage you to become good at employing Conductive Reasoning, in the context of your own interpersonal relationship with God.