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Not Following - I Looked Into Heaven
[4:40]
[lyrics]
This song is not directed at others. It is about me. I heard Jesus judging a mentality I was embracing, which was a mentality of fear. At the time I was embracing it I didn't see it as fear. I saw it as truth. God has shown me that truth that doesn't come from a mentality of love isn't really truth, it is merely a lie in a Sunday suit. I have had a good many of these kinds of interactions with Jesus. His judgments are pure, and peaceable, and they bear the fruit of joy in me when I finally hear, and receive them. I was seeing someone as being separate from me, because of fear of them rejecting in me what I believe God has given me for them. In other words, I was rejecting them before they could reject me. Of course, I didn't think of it in those crass, and honest terms. I thought in pseudo-generous terms of me simply acknowledging their choices to go a separate path from me, and me honoring their choice. What can I say; I'm really good at this self-deception thing. Good thing I have a God that doesn't get lost in my verbal fog. Fear is a subtle snake.
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